Last week I headed home, to Blue Earth that is, once again. I ended up leaving on Tuesday, the day of the big snow storm. I left by noon, but still encountered some weather issues. There were several accidents, a few white out situations and some slippery spots, but Meredith and I made it home safely! Jon was going to be busy at 2 wonderful drug rep dinners that week, something I used to enjoy going with him to (he could get me in because I worked in the OR!). So he wouldn't have been home until late on Tues and Thurs nights - so I figured I may as well go and spend some time with my mom and siblings during the week, one last time (well, not really, I'm going back Thurs afternoon this week) - before having to go back to work.
Basically we hibernated and stayed at my mother's from Tues until Thurs afternoon because of how cold and windy it was, along with all the snow. But people did come visit us. Including my brother and my sister Emily and her two kids. She actually was snowed into her own home because she had a long driveway that hadn't been plowed - but she decided to bundle her two kids up and plow through the foot of snow in her Cavalier to come to my mom's and visit, silly girl! My youngest sister was actually staying with my mom for a few days (because she was, and hopefully still is, taking a "break" from her boyfriend). She was actually very helpful, helping with baths, bottles and getting Meri ready for bed. So, it was a lot of visiting and family time. Thursday we were a bit more busy. We went and had lunch with my Gma and helped her type and print her holiday card. Then Emily and I took all three kids up to GT Photo for pictures with Santa. I'm really excited to see them. We got pics with our kids alone and together, they should be great. Actually my 4 year old niece was the hard one to convince to get near Santa! The two babies just happily sat on his lap! Then that night I took the whole family out to pretty much the only restaurant in town, "Double Play", for dinner. I wanted to tell everyone thank you for being so supportive and for dealing with me and my craziness!
We headed back up to the Cities on Friday so we could spend some quality time with daddy, which didn't really play out as I thought. I retrospect I probably would've stayed in Blue Earth until Saturday because Jon got home late Friday night and was gone all Saturday morning rounding. But, oh well! We had a quiet Friday night in and on Saturday our big accomplishment was grocery shopping. We did have some visitors stop by Saturday evening and we all went out to dinner at the local Mexican Restaurant, Pepitos. Our friends Marci and Dan Gatlin and their son David came by to see Meri for the first time. Dan and Jon started residency training together and Dan is now a General Surgeon in Shakopee. And ironically, Marci is also a CRNA - though we work at different hospitals and went to different schools. Anyway, it was great seeing them again and we hope to see them again soon!
On Sunday we just got things done around the house, then the past two days I've just been doing some last minute errands and Christmas related things - like getting our Christmas card created, printed, addressed, stamped and sent. I also had yet another Lactation appt yesterday. And I have to say, it was a little sad..... I originally made an appointment just to use their scales to see a pre and post feeding weight to see how much Meredith was eating during a typical feeding, but since the consultant wasn't busy, we did a full fledged appointment. Basically Meredith did her normal.. crying, going on, pulling away, crying, eating, pushing away, crying, eating, etc, etc. Yep, that's pretty much the usual feeding for her. And as you can imagine, it's very stressful for me, and probably for her too. Basically, the lactation nurse asked me if breastfeeding made me happy, which I had to admit to her that it did not. I'm constantly worried she's not getting enough and I'm constantly frustrated that it doesn't seem to even make HER happy. We also found out that she did NOT in fact get a full feeding, though nearly - 3.8 oz instead of 4.1 oz. So, she suggested that I might just try pumping and bottle feeding (because Meredith is actually happily taking the bottle for the moment!). She would get what she needed, and we would know that and she would be happier doing it. Well, I had resolved to doing that and did do it for the rest of the day yesterday and this morning and I have to say - THAT is a lot of work. It's hard to find the time to warm a bottle, feed her a bottle, pump, and clean all the equipment - when I could just breast feed. And it did not make her happier between feedings. I was convinced that if she got what she needed, if not more that what she needed, that perhaps she would sleep longer between feedings and be happier between feedings, but that was not the case at all - she was her usual fussy self who only takes 30 to 45 min. naps between feedings. So.... I'm back to my previous decision - I will breast feed when possible. I will hope she gets a full feeding, but I won't force her to eat if she gets upset. If she acts hungry before 3 hours are up, I'll feed her and as long as she's gaining weight - I'll just keep doing it that way. It's hard not to make myself crazy when things aren't going smoothly - but I can only do so much. And once I'm back to work - I'll be forced to pump and bottle feed while she's at daycare. The lactation consultant said she very well may declare herself. She may really enjoy breastfeeding when she gets the chance because she misses it, or she may down right refuse because she doesn't want to work hard and wants a bottle instead. I guess I will soon find out how it will go down. But if the rest of today is any indication, she may surprise me and decide to be a happy breastfeeder when given the chance. She got bottles yesterday at 5pm, 7pm and 9:30pm - then I breastfed her at 3:30am, 7:30am - bottle at 11:15am, then breastfed her at 1:30pm and 4:30pm and she breastfed very well all day - much better than she has done in the past several days. So, as I've said before - I really can't wait to be done. I want to do it, because I know it's what's best for her, but I'll tell you what - it ain't easy!
Enough on the continuing breastfeeding saga! We've been busy this week so far - running lots of errands. Today we also visited the daycare again to bring in some paperwork and say HI to her infant teachers, who I am very comfortable leaving her with. Then we went and visited a friend with a few other moms and kids playing. It was fun, but unfortunately Meredith had two complete freakouts and I spent most of my time there in a quiet room feeding her! Such is life. Now I have lunch dates both today and tomorrow and I'm going to visit a dear friend and meet her beautiful baby boy tomorrow - then I'm back to Blue Earth Thursday through Saturday for a family Christmas on Saturday and back to work Monday. Which as I've eluded to has already caused me to shed many tears. I know I will get back into the groove of things, but I've rather enjoyed my time off and my time with my daughter (and also the sleep she's allowed me, which though the day time hours can be rough, I at least still get to sleep at night.....)!
So here are some pics from the past week as well as some of the professional photos we had done a couple of weeks ago for Meredith's 3 month photos and for our Christmas photos!
The family at Double Play
All of my siblings, my sis in law, bro in law, niece, nephew, mom and Gma (and me and Meredith) at our dinner at Double Play in Blue Earth
The Gatlin family visit
Here are some professional photos, done by Jennifer Cress Photography here in Minneapolis at her studio...we have literally hundreds more, but there are some of my favorites.
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